Help Yourself In Order To Help Others

I had a nice heart-to-heart conversation with a great friend of mine a while ago. He seemed caught up in a mix of teenage drama, other people's issues, and problems in his own life. He is usually this happy, carefree, laid back guy. To see this side of him was a big change.


I was more than happy to help him though. I don't have anything too prevalent going on in my life. So I could give him all the help he needed.


What makes people so interested in other people's problems? Reality shows, school drama, and fights intrigue people daily. 


This is all wrong. You shouldn't be putting more stresses on yourself than you need. Not only do you have your own problems, now you're throwing more and more at yourself. There ends up being piles of stress, problems, and commitments to things that do not affect you personally in any way. All of this stress makes your life complicated. You are unable to complete tasks, work on goals, or be truly happy. 


You need to take care of your own issues first. You should be priority #1. 


A few tips on helping yourself first:

• List out everything that's going on in your life.
Go through this list one at a time. Doing everything in your power to take on this issue. If it's a simple commitment, see if you can drop it. Only take on one thing at a time. Go down the list one by one. These can act like goals, but don't work too hard on them all at once. Do one thing a day to help with it.
• Take time to work these out. If you need to take a month or two to deal with something, whether it's a finance issue, bad break up, or something deep in your life, do so. Stresses need to be dealt with as soon as possible or they will sit there and fester.
• Say no. When someone comes to you with their problems, say no. You might have been there for them before, but you need to be there for you. They will understand. Tell them you are dealing with things yourself right now, and can't take anything else on at the moment. You shouldn't be expected to take on their problem before your own.
• Listen, don't do anything. If you truly need to help someone, just listen. Most of the time, people just need to vent. If you can't say no, then just listen. Listening is a powerful tool, and takes minimal effort from you. Just be in the moment for them, and pay attention. You don't need to fix any problem, give any advice, just be there for them to talk to. You don't need to worry about their problem, but they will know that you care.

"The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers." -Thich Nhat Hanh

Listening to someone and just being with them can make all the difference. You don't have to stress about their issue, and you can deal with your own before you worry about theirs. 

100 Thing Challenge

College is fast approaching, and a lot of people are talking about what they're taking to college. I hear mostly the same things: bedding, clothes, computer, furniture, and TV. I also hear about is the vast amount of things people will bring. It seems that my friends plan on bringing everything they own. But I have a different idea.


I plan on bringing only 100 personal items to college.


I read about this concept in a book by Dave Bruno, The 100 Thing Challenge. It's a fantastic book. The goal of this is to reduce the amount of clutter you have, and to see what you actually use and love. (Edit- I'd like to give a big thank you to Dave Bruno personally for reading my blog and retweeting this to all his followers. He has done me a huge favor by doing so.)


What isn't included:

• Books
• Cleaning supplies
• Things that aren't personally yours, like dishes, an air conditioning unit, fridge, or TV.
• Tools
• Collections count as one item

I am excited to give this a try. Since I'm going to college soon, I'll be able to use this to guide what I take to college. That way I will truly see how well I can live with only 100 things. Then I will limit my entire life, and not just what I bring to college.

What is included:

• Personal items

It's up to you to decide what's personal and what isn't. Usually you'd include shirts, pants, and clothing all as individual items. There is no judge, no competition, and no wrong answer to this. 

How to start:

• Inventory: Write down everything you choose. That way you can see how close to 100 you are.
• Make a must keep pile. This is for things like a phone, keys, your Olympic Gold Medal, and clothing. Mark those separately, so you know not to forget them in the list.
• Mark all the maybe items. If you get over 100, remove items from this list first. These are items you are borderlined about. Maybe it's that home run derby ball, or the shirt you got for Christmas.
• Get rid of the rest. It's all right if this last step takes longer than the others. If you really think you might need these other items then put them in a box. Put that box in storage, and if you need to use it, you can.
• If 100 is too easy, try a lower number. How about 95? If you're really daring, try 75, or  50.

My list so far:

1. Laptop
2. Phone
3. Camera
4. Climbing shoes
5. harness
6. chalk bag
7. Bible
8. printer
9. bedding
10. backpack
11. sunglasses
12. Sanuks
13. running shoes
14. running shoes
15. hiking shoes
16. flip flops
17. black dress shoes
18. brown/black reversible belt
19. cloth casual belt
20. gyro forearm exerciser
21. door frame pull up bar
22. yoga mat
23. coffee maker

I still have to go through my clothing. That will be the hardest part.

I might choose to list the coffee maker and printer as non-personal since my roommate might use them as well. I chose to list my laptop as one item, but I'm including it in the collection with its charger, mouse, mouse pad, and webcam. Same with my phone. It and its charger are one item.

Things I'm not counting (so far):

• Furniture
• school supplies

Once I know my full list, it will be posted.

Try the 100 thing challenge. Remember, you're the boss of this. You decide what counts and what doesn't. Write to me in the comments section on your progress, or message me in the contact section in the sidebar.

Stressful Student Habits

Everyday in school, I see the same thing. People doing homework right before class, rushing to get there on time, and then wondering why they are so stressed.

There can be many reasons why high schoolers are stressed so much, but it all narrows down to one thing: complications. The habits that students form complicate their life so much. Cutting these complicated lifestyles out can form better student habits.

A day in the life: go to bed late, wake up at the last minute, skip breakfast, rush to school, and you know what happens next. If you wait till eleven at night to do homework, you are going to get to bed late. And the cycle continues. You can relieve yourself of so much stress if you just change a couple things:

• Getting up earlier. Don't get up cold turkey, do it moderately. Set your alarm two, maybe five minutes earlier every day (or every other if you are not a morning person). Doing this gradually lets you ease into it, eventually letting you get so much more done in the mornings. Like:

• Eating breakfast. Breakfast not only wakes you up, it keeps you awake. They don't call it the "most important meal of the day" for nothing. Key proteins, vitamins, even just carbs in the morning can help relieve that morning hassle.

• Doing your homework right after school. Doing this immediately when you get home is almost common sense when you think about it. The material is fresh in your mind, and you will definitely still have a school mindset. Doing it when you are home is less distracting as well since most parents will be at work. You won't be tired right after school, unless you play an after-school sport, so make use of that time.

• Slowing down. Don't rush through things. Take your time to make sure to get that good grade, or say "Hey" to a friend in the halls, but arrive to class on time! If you are constantly worried about the next class, or what you are doing after school, you aren't giving the present your full attention. Slow down, and give it your best quality work.

*This list is not complete with every change needed to get rid of stress. The purpose of this is to introduce you to the kinds of changes you need to make.

Once these changes are made, new ones will appear to you, and happen on their own. Grades will increase, you will have more free time, and most of all: you will have less stress.